Intro and the ugly scale breakup

Hello world and eating disorder community..

My name is constant..
I have an eating disorder, or should I say, I AM an eating disorder.. that would probably be more accurate.
I was diagnosed (GP) with Anorexia 6 years ago. Now that I am an "adult", I have refused all treatments for the past 2.5 years and spend every waking moment consumed with my own self-deprication and obsession.

So, I have a lot of time on my hands. This is all I do, this is all I am or will ever be. This is dying life with my eating disorder, my constant companion.

So here I am, at the beginning of a new month and the end of the same day I've been living for the better part of my life. I am fasting until October 5th right now. I think I drank about 3 pots-worth of coffee today, each entree of coffee included a side dish of cigarettes.. or as I affectionately like to call them "starving sticks".
I made a GUT WRENCHING discovery at the local general nutrition store today.. I paid one dollar to use their "most accurate scale in the world" scale and it printed me off a little ticket scoring my weight at 102 pounds!
 you fucking fatass bitch This is FOUR pounds heavier than my at-home scale says. So, I am now offically bound by blood to walk to the mall everyday and pay one dollar to weigh myself on this scale. I will NOT take my at-home scale for granted anymore.

It has been telling me I am 98 pounds for the past week and it is obviously a lying son of a bitch. I am breaking up with it immediately.  hook, line, sinker. done

welcome to my world, I will be posting everyday so stay tuned for more extremely exciting stories from the dreamland of starving that I have built around myself..